Who are you doing it for?

Sometimes in life we find ourselves doing everything for other people. We cook for others, we use products for others, we spend our lives enslaved to someone or something else in one way or another. So who are we living for?

I have to say I'm pretty happy with the way I live my life. I'm in a safe place, I can afford to live, I'm looked after. The only thing, so far, I'm missing is a partner. I think in the breakdown of my last relationship I realised that I was living too much for someone else. I was spending all my life wondering if what I did was meeting with his approval. Did he like what I was wearing? Was I loving him enough? In reality, I don't think he actually cared! I realise that now.

I think now, in terms of my job, I'm doing it for the 100+ children who are in and out of my classroom on a daily basis. I am living to change lives and you know what? I'm actually ok with it. Yes it can be stressful but each day there are changes and I honestly think the kids are ok with it. When I spot a little face light ip or a mouth form a question that usually wouldn't dare be asked, I know that I'm living for the right reason.

It's not exactly a stress free profession and when there are more bad days than good in a week, it causes you to question whether you are living for the right reasons. When you can't reach out and inspire a child, when the child throws every effort you make back in your face with inappropriate language and file behaviour you do wonder if you are living the wrong life. However, on the flip side, when a child says words like 'Miss you're one of the best teachers' or 'she's relaxed nit she will absolutely bullock you if you go too far', you know that somewhere amongst the shift, you are doing a good thing.

To me, I haven't just chosen a job, I've chosen a way of life. Even when I'm in holiday mode I am still on to a certain degree. I still spot opportunities for learning that must be embraced, memorised and the regurgitated at the appropriate point. I find myself picking up books that I think my children would love, looking at things from the eyes of those who haven't been lucky enough to have what I have. I became a kind of surrogate mother the day I stepped into my classroom. It's hard not to be a sort of parent when you are responsible for children 6 hours a day. I'd to change that for the world either.


This blog has become a bit of a ramble so I'm going to stop. I'll post it but I'm. To too bothered about proof reading. It's been a stream of consciousness more than anything. The gist? I'm living for my job and I've never been happier.